Over the past month or so my eating has spiralled out of control. I believe I have put on a slight amount of weight although my husband still seems to think I am losing. I'm not sure how it all started but I have been pretty unwell lately and my youngest son has just started school. I know that I have been incredibly busy and I guess I must have turned to food as some type of stress relief.

But why it happened is not as important as how to get back on track. I happened to stumble on an article about David Hasslehoff and apparantly he said that 'part of recovery is relapse'. I sat and thought about that for a long time. I do have an addiction to food in a way, and part of my recovery will include relasping to old behaviours occasionally.

Years ago I bought a marriage help DVD. It was truly ingenious it was called 'Divorce Busters' or something like that. But the woman gave some really great advice. One piece of advice was that we shouldn't focus on how or why an argument started. You know how it goes, we try to find whos to blame, 'you did this, you did that which caused this' yada yada yada. She said that this was just pointless and only angered everyone more, we all know what we did that may have hurt the other person and we all know what they did that hurt us. Studies on animals show that when males fight over territory there are certain triggers which stop them from ultimately killing each other. These behavioural triggers end the fight. Humans behave in the same way, when we argue there are behavioural triggers which end the arguement. The most important thing when arguing with a loved one is not how it started but how to end it.

So we pay attention to how the arguments end. Then we consciously initiate the same behaviours when in an argument to end the argument earlier and earlier. Do you know where I'm going with this?

When I relaspe and start eating everything in sight ruining my plans for weight loss, there really is no point in trying to figure out how it happened, its more important to note the way I get back on track and losing weight once again. What motivated me in the first place? And how do I get back to that level of motivation?

Well I'm near enough back on track. I've had one brilliant day yesterday and I'm having an amazing day today. I've had a grapefruit and half a slice of bread today and its now twenty to 3. So how did I get back on track?

It was all to do with what I was thinking about at the time. The whole time I was relaspsing I was angry that I wasn't losing weight and I was angry that I wasn't already slim. Every slim person I saw I was like 'how do they look like that' and I was just really angry and it made me eat more. Yesterday my focus changed. I started thinking that by christmas I could look slim. I imagined myself slim in the future and imagined how great I felt and how other people treated me. I imagined people that I didn't like seeing me slim and how that would make them feel, that I wasn't fat any more and they couldn't belittle me.

It may not be reality but my imagination has linked me back with my goal. I really want to lose weight again. It is important that I record this and remember it, because the next time I steer off track I'll hopefully be able to read this and motivate myself once more.